The First OFFICIAL Patterns Session

Thanks to the grotesquely Hotter Than The Seventh Circle of Hell days of summer, we have spent a substantial amount of hours doing a whole lot of NOTHING with Jet. This has proven to be worth its weight in 24-karot gold (with platinum trimming). I am absolutely amazed by how just being with Jet and observing him has developed our relationship. We were able to all get to know each other without the hassle of frustration, fighting, injuries, or scary incidents.

Ok, we had a few of those in the beginning. But they were significantly minimal and I firmly believe those miserable sessions are behind us because WE are becoming more emotionally fit and are learning more and more how to deal with frustrations more LB and logically. "It's not about..."

The more time I spend with Jet, either playing games or just loafing with him and Blahnik, the more I in awe I am of how one's horse truly IS a mirror of oneself. Jet and I are alike in ways I never would have guessed. We both need time to think things over when something new happens. We are both extremely sensitive, mentally and physically; we get insulted quickly over nothing, we both crumble under too much, too fast, but we forgive faster than we get upset. When Jet gets claustrophobic, he gets itchy and starts constantly scratching - just as I do. Maybe I'm anthropromorphizing him, maybe what I'm describing sounds meaningless, but I just never realized I would have such subtle things in common with my horse.

We've also had a new little breakthrough that has been causing my mother's and my hearts to soar: the last 3 times we've gone up to Shiloh, Jet's been waiting at the gate for us, ears up, and sticking his nose out for kisses when we arrive.

So, last time we introduced him to the figure eight and Sniff This games. This time we actually put it to the test. The LBI in Jet likes Sniff This, particularly if there is hay or a turd pile at the end of the tunnel. Mom was doing quite nicely showing him the F8 and I saw first-hand what makes it such a good game. Anytime Jet started getting worried because his Lordship was asked to go somewhere before he had time to think about it, he had to turn around. The changing directions kept him VERY focused. Even when he broke into a trot, wanting to get upset and take off, he COULDN'T because he had to keep turning around. So he just kept trotting and dealt with it. Double bonus - a pleasant trot AND he was actually LISTENING to Mom's driving cues, not just throwing it all to the wind because he got worried.

Then it was my turn. By now, Jet had done GORGEOUS F8's for Ma. The two of them even had a blunder and corrected it in record time. The problem (direction change) was solved so fast I almost didn't see it. It was time to hand the reins (pun intended) to me.

To my disadvantage, I haven't watched Online as much as Mom has, since it's been at her house mostly since we bought it. Good thing the segments are short, but Pat needs to be watched, with the sound off, at least a zillion times in order to pick up the subtlties in his hands and body movement. This was really the first time I was trying a F8. And Jet KNEW IT.

Mr. LBE came out. He took my un-skilledness and ran with it. Around the first cone he stopped in front of it, picked it up and flopped it around. I couldn't help it. I just dropped the rope and laughed. Then he turned around to the next cone and proudly demonstrated the same behavior, then trotted merrily behind me. SO naughty, but I couldn't get mad at him for getting playful.
The send was the hardest for me, and I was also driving him in the wrong zone, which was one of the reasons he was going in the opposite way of where I was trying to drive him. It was quite obvious he knew exactly what he was supposed to do around the cones by now but his feeling was, "Oh, I'll go where YOU tell me to. Ha, ha!"

On the third try, Mom yelled, "Zone 2!" at the perfect moment. I waved the carrot stick there and Jet's face literally read, "Rats, she figured it out," but he completed the F8 sans any more funny business. We did one more for good measure, then practiced sidepassing (his sidesteps are getting GORGEOUS. I've been growing more interested in dressage and think he might really enjoy that in the future) before a hay break.

A few minutes into munching, I decided to oil and pick out his feet. His right side was scrunched up parallel to the rail. I thought about how I had to move him over as I walked to that side and, almost as a joke, snapped my fingers and mumbled, "Move over, babe."

HE DID.

These little moments of unity never cease to blow my mind. even for the most mundane tasks. Coincidence? Could be. But I don't believe in coincidence and nothing means nothing to a horse.

We took the boy back to his pasture where an anxious Blahnik was waiting. He hung around long enough to let us cover his Kissy Spot before he spotted a glorious hay pile.

As if the day couldn't have gone better, back at the Mare Motel Jill was riding her gorgeous Fresian, Tanis. We stood around shooting the breeze for a minute when out of the clear blue, Jill asked if I wanted to take Tanis for a spin around the ranch. You'd have thought she'd just told me I won a cruise to Hawaii.

Although my form looked HORRIFIC in the pictures, puttering around the ranch on Tanis only convinced me further that I have GOT to get me one like him someday. Fresians are so laid back, so kind, and it's like riding a sofa. I always say I'm going to buy the Fresian in the Tournament of Kings show. But any future Fresian will have to get along with Jet, and Jet prefers mares. And since Jet gets whatever he wants...

Smarty Pants

Today was the first time I've seen my darling since Wednesday. Not much happened, but we did introduce his new form of training torture today: The Patterns.

Jet is also improving more and more and more with his hooves. Not only are they getting harder, staying round, and not chipping, but he is becoming more desensitized, less sore on his back feet, and thanks to the bell boots we bought him, his step is improving and he's not tearing his shoes off. And he thinks he looks SO stylin' in his "bell bottoms!" He is also lifting them up politely and enjoys having his legs rubbed and massaged while he eats.

I can't describe how much happier and confident I am feeling playing with Jet in his pasture instead of the round pen now. The privacy makes me concentrate more on the communication, not trying to show off the communication.

Jet WAS a little unsure about leaving his pasture today but I knew once he saw we were going into the "good" arena which is right next to the pasture and he and Blahnik could see each other, he would be fine.

Mom and I both tried out some Sniff Its. As always, Jet is a lovely test of patience. Reitterating something I posted on the forum recently, Jet is very smart and usually pretty LB. But any given time of the day he is 49/51% LBE/LBI - and the 2 quadrants can interchange multiple times daily. He can complete a task correctly very fast, but he still needs time to "analyze" what he just did. I have come to discover that even if his head is lowering and his eyes are closing and he's relaxing, that doesn't mean he's lost interest just yet. We HAVE to wait for the lick n' chew or for him to start walking around, looking for hay, or else that's when the trouble starts. At this point in the journey, if we push him to try something new after just finishing a different game, he panics. Information overload, I guess. HOWEVER, once he has licked his lips, then we have to move on fairly quickly or else he will start acting out anyway, only this time out of boredom.

Yes, in that sense, he IS very fussy.

Anyway, he and I tried a pretty hard one, a brush that was lying on its side in the corner. To the outward eye, it looked like we were standing in the corner doing nothing, but for me, it was rather intense watching him glance around the area, trying to figure out where he was supposed to move, and if he should move his feet or his nose. Finally, I decided to push him just a little further, and prayed it wasn't too much micromanaging - so I Porcupined his head down. He instantly lowered his head and sniffed around. The instant his nose touched the brush I dropped EVERYTHING - the carrot stick, the lead rope - and walked away. He had a LOT of pressure on him for that game so I wanted to make absolute certain he felt the release as soon as he did something right. When I turned around, he was walking over to me, ears forward, head down: "I touched the brush, can I come in and see you??"

To which I replied, "Of course!"

Then the debut Figure Eight was tested. Jet wasn't exactly what I would call engaged and excited, but he walked around the cones thoroughly LB. I think the reason why was the cones were the first objects in Sniff It. Remembering how engaged he became about the cones the last time, he was happy to see them again, pick them up, roll them around. So once he returned to the cones after messing around with other stuff for a bit (and standing around doing nothing while he pondered the ways of the universe), he was already aware that he had to do something involving the cones. Since he really seems to like them, he put in an honest effort (one must try to impress the orange cones, you see). What more could we ask for?

There was only one thing bothering me through this play session and that was the drooling. Long, thick chunks of spit dangled from his mouth and he was grinding his teeth. His mouth was very obviously bothering him and he wasn't very coopertive about me trying to pry his mouth open to look for anything. Being a first time horse owner and highly over protective mommy, I immediately assumed, of course, that he was dying and darted across the ranch to find Jill. All the while I was thinking, "Poor baby, but brave baby! His mouth is killing him, yet he was still paying attention and trying to ignore the pain!" Which was why I knew truly whatever was bothering him was NOT terminal or he wouldn't be able to concentrate on his tasks at hand. I had to give him props though for not getting dramatic or RB in his discomfort. He really does try so hard to please us during Parelli Time.

Of course, he was fine. Jill, the voice of reason, said he just had foxtails lodged in his mouth.
"A lot of the horses have it right now," she said, "Just rinse his mouth with water and flush all the nasties out of his upper lip."

To the wash rack we went. By now, Jet's ears were sagging to the sides, his eyes were glossy, and he was foaming like a rabid dog. He looked the way I felt the other day at work when I had a bad headache. At first I was having a hard time trying to pry his mouth open and stick the hose in there. Then I thought I would try guiding it in from the side, the way I do when he gets wormed or bute paste. The simulation worked! Even more phenomenal was once Jet had a grip on the hose, he actually rinsed out the foxtails himself!! I swear I am not making this up. He has drank from the hose before so I assumed at first that was what he was doing. Nope. While I supported the hose for him, he moved the metal opening around with his teeth and tongue and green chunky water spilled onto the ground. The cool water must have felt good on the inside of his lips. We were SO proud of him. I was so impressed that he was LB and confident enough to think through his irritation and actually solve a problem himself. Naturally, we told everyone who walked by, "Our horse is a genius!" After a good five minutes, Jet spit out the hose, blew his nose on us, and promptly started nibbling rocks. Ahh. Our horse felt better.

"And Ahh HAY-yulped!"

Say the title out loud. Remember that God awful English muffin commercial?

Jet's first Approach and Retreat session since our new spin on location, location, location went well, all things considered. There was quite a bit going on. Our friend/tack shed neighbor/fellow Parelli-holic Dave had HIS horse on line snacking over by our tack sheds, his other horse, Rookie, was frolicking at liberty in the vicinity, not to mention the parked cars, the dogs and the mascot baby donkey. Dave demonstrated a more effective Yo-yo game for us (Prince Charming stood at attention but lost his confidence a little on the bring-back, but he got over it) which was very helpful. Other good points:

- Jet's ears were pricked and he was a little skeptical, but didn't start breathing hard or dancing.
- Jet was reunited with his old pasture mate, Numerous (Dave's horse). They sniffed and greeted one another (I was picturing them giving manly hugs or "high-hooves"), then Numerous bit him. I had to laugh, even though I was surprised. Jet's RARELY second banana in a herd of 2 (and that includes when he's with him humans lol).
- Jet felt comfortable enough in the vicinity to sniff out Sarge, one of the ranch dogs (who was NOT happy having his nap interrupted) AND lick the trunk of Mom's SUV.

Once he was finished with his supplements (seeing the blue bucket always puts him at ease), we returned to the pasture, armed with our carrot sticks and 2 new folding chairs with little awnings so we could sit down for Undemanding Time. A brief time outside but successful none the less (baby steps). After we set up the chairs, I noticed one of the horses was limping badly. Kite, a pretty chestnut Arabian filly, already has one swollen back leg with a nasty scar that hasn't seemed to have healed as it should have from whatever happened to her. Now the other back leg was even puffier, looked scratched and bloody and she was keeping her weight off as much as possible. Dave has been working to improve Kite's people skills, as she is very scared of them, and coming out triumphant. I have tried to make friends with her as well, but she does not trust me at all nor cares for me to approach her as she does him, although looks at me with more curiosity and a far better expression on her face than she once did. Guess my Catching Game is not as strong as I thought. Anyway, Dave was still on the far side of the ranch with his boys, so I thought I would try to catch Kite and scan her quickly myself before finding him.

I began my usual tricks of Natural attraction - approaching from zone 5, turning away when she looked at me. The best I could get was a question, but otherwise she just limped away. I knew Jet was following me, but I figured he'd catch a hay pile and wander off.

What happened next FLOORED me.

I stopped the next time Kite stopped and put my back to her. Jet stopped with me, but he still faced forward, absolutely focused on whatever was in front of him. Great facial expression, ears forward. When I turned back around to steal a peak at what Kite was doing, I realized they were looking at each other dead on. When she turned around and walked away, I started walking again. Jet walked with me, completely fixated on Kite. He KNEW I had her in mind. When Kite started melting into the herd, Jet broke into a trot straight for her. He ROUNDED HER UP AWAY FROM THE HERD and got her to turn around and face me again. He looked SO proud of himself and looked at me like, "Look Mom! I got her!" Meanwhile, I stood there with my jaw dropped to the dirt. Alas, Jet was as unsuccessful as I was at getting her to join us, but he still got rubs and loves for the assistance.

I could NOT believe it. What an offer!! What service!! What UNITY....

I saw Dave walking by and alerted him to Kite's condition, so he caught her and took care of her new wound. Meanwhile, back in the pasture, Jet and Blahnik were fascinated by our chairs and provided laughs and Kodak moments (not captured as my camera is out of comission) knocking them over, pawing at them, picking them up in their mouths. Jet even managed to rip open a seam. The damage has since been dubbed "The Jet Stamp of Approval."

Jet offered his help one more time when we folded the lawn chairs up. I was struggling to get the carrying bag over it. Jet pulled it out a little for me, so I was able to slide it easily over the folded chair.

A day where not much happened, but that which did was simply incredible. Trying to catch Kite was the first time Jet's and my mind were one. Completely in tune, the first experience of true partnership. The truly fascinating part was that Jet knew this before I did.

If this sense of unity was a sneak peak at what the future holds, I am bursting at the seams to discover what else will go on!

We also just ordered the Patterns, so we can expect the journey to take a VERY interesting twist. Stay tuned.

Thesholds

Jet has lived on every side of Shiloh for over two years now, so I assumed hardly anything that goes on there would faze him.

Well, you know the old saying about assuming...

It was more than likely my own fault that Jet started getting antsy and prancy everytime he came out of his pasture. Our best fights happened outside his home base. The arena where he ran away with me. The manure pile where he threw countless tantrums. The area by the bushes where he got scared by some of the wandering horses. Any place Jill's beautiful Fresian, Tanis is (he is scared to death of him). The barn where Farrier Torture takes place. And the most nerve-rattling place of all - the wash rack. Where Jet goes from Half Dead Peanut Roller to Savion Glover, tap dancing extradonaire, and throws in some rock eating for added entertainment. Every wash rack at Shiloh we have brought him to has caused me nothing but anxiety and frustration. It's not that he freaks out and pulls back. He just WON'T STAND STILL. He becomes a total jerk about his feet, newest trick being he "falls down" in a dramatic heap when we lift a hoof. Since there is no history of him acting like this prior to us adopting him my guess can only be he picks up on whatever anticipation I have of what trials and tribulations MAY occur at the wash rack. In essence, I worry he's going to be a right-brained clown, so he turns into a right-brained clown.

So, as he was playing his, "Oh, I Just CAN'T Stay Balanced Because I Have Native Dancer Feet!" sob story while Mom cleaned his hooved yesterday, I stood there and pondered, "How on earth can we make this horse as well behaved out here as he starts out in the pasture?" And it hit me like a mack truck - DON'T TAKE HIM OUT OF THE PASTURE.

At least not for right now, and not for long periods of time. For weeks now, I have been thinking, everytime Jet does something RB, "What are you trying to tell me?" Each time so far, the nail has been hit on the head. I knew it didn't sound right to do his maintenence and even play the games in his pasture. He needs to learn how to stand politely at the wash rack and he needs to not be scared of the barn because that's where the farrier is. My reasoning was, yes, this will happen, but why not set it up for success by starting off in the pasture, where he is comfortable? Approach and retreat is a HUGE thing with Jet. He's basically confident, happy and playful, but pushed beyond his thresholds, he turns into a big chicken. This brainchild was in part created by other blogs and posts on the Forum about people who do most of their playtime in their horses' pastures and slowly take them back out in small increments before they are comfortable and quiet around the whole farm.

Jet had been trying to "tell" me this for awhile. Yesterday, I heard him. When we put him back in the pasture (a reward for standing still a whole two minutes), Mom tried lifting his feet again. No dramatic collapses. HMMM...How interesting! Today, for the official "test" we went in. I cleaned out his feet this time. He had one bouncy moment, where I actually said to him, "Figure it out, get your balance," and he instantly stopped moving. Then I tried some Porcupine on the forequarters. Jet moved on PHASE ONE!!!!!
That wasn't the best part, though. The feet cleaning and the porcupining was done...at liberty.
Three months of this horse in our life and we are picking his feet up at liberty...if you ask me, that ain't bad.

But the day wasn't over yet. Right as we were getting ready to leave, Leo, one of the ranch hands, came into the pasture with the tractor. It's just a Gator with a little plow in the back, but as he drove around to even out the dirt, the horses all ran for their lives. This occurs every day and may explain why Jet is terrified of the Gators and golf carts driving around the ranch. It's not like Leo's CHASING the horses with it, but you know prey animals...

I stood under one of the awnings as the horses tore away from the scary Gator monster. Jet was right in the thick of it, biting and herding the horse in front of him to get out of his way. He rounded the back, galloping at full speed, and as Leo turned again toward the gate, Jet made a sharp turn to the right and zig-zagged to slide to a dead stop RIGHT BEHIND ME. While he watched the Gator drive in our direction in terror, I casually rubbed his neck and looked the opposite direction. A moment later, Jet put his head on my shoulder, looking the same direction I was. Each time after that, when the Gator rolled toward us, Jet and Blahnik stood behind me and looked with concern, but did not run away. By Leo's last round, they had wandered off to a hay pile, and could have cared less when he drove right behind them.

My heart swelled. Jet got scared and ran to ME for protection.
We've got to be doing SOMETHING right :-)

Changes (Warning! Long One!)

It's been forever, I know, but I had a session where a lot of licking and chewing had to go on in my head, as I've also been licking and chewing over a more lengthy post and I want to make sure I've got all my thoughts straight so the post is as emotionally fit and thought provoking as I can prove of myself.

We had a bad session with Jet recently (Ma posted about it on the SC Forum) and while I did NOT want to give up, I had spooked myself and became filled with self-doubt. I was afraid I wasn't any good at Parelli, that I was interpretting Pat's philosophy all wrong and that I was turning Jet into a monster in the process. I figured it was time to call in the Big Guns (Marc Rea, local 3-Star instructor, *cheers* hurray!). But before I did that, I needed several days to work some things out in my head.

We also made a little tweak in Jet's diet. He eats free-choice hay living out in the pasture and gets a hoof and coat supplement everytime we visit. Upon recommendation by a friend, we were mixing a small scoop of senior feed to mask yucky tasting pellets. Basic science - more energy input than output. The mollasses turned Jet into a crackhead - HELLO, it's common knowledge at the track the racers get sweet feed to get them hypered up for race time. Basically we were putting a 16.2h, 1100lb, 6 year old, off-track Thoroughbred on a sugar rush. It was like the days when my drink of choice was vodka and sugar-free Red Bull (or as I used to call it, "The Weapon of Mass Destruction). Mom and I decided right then and there to pull the TINY scoop from his supplements - the horse will eat anything that isn't nailed down anyway, so doubtful he would notice a difference in taste.

****~~~~BRAND NEW HORSE HAS ENTERED THE PICTURE!!!~~~~****

I know, you all think I'm a moron for feeding my horse senior feed. YES, I AM, but at least we figured it out, and in my defense, it wasn't like he got a full bucket of it 6 days a week, it was a very small scoop meant to be a tasty treat in the event his normal supplements didn't fit the bill. I know quite a few horses who have it mixed into their supplements and they don't experience a difference in hyper-activity. Mine did. He told me. We yanked it.

And now, Jet is a Gentle Giant.

And guess what, it wasn't just about the sweet feed. I needed to calm down just as much as he did. I sat back for a moment and decided the best thing to to was to not do anything the next time I saw him. As Mom encouraged, "He is our horse. We train him with the method we feel is best and we spend time with him however we see fit. If you want to come up here and spend the whole day just sitting in that pasture looking at him, you do it." So that day, I did just that. I watched Jet and thought. I thought about how I was putting too much pressure on myself and was rushing like Jet and I had some deadline to meet. I watched how he pushed Blahnik out of his way and thought of how he does the same exact thing to us. I realized I shouldn't take it so personally, he doesn't do it to be mean or testy, he does it because he is normally dominant in his little herd of 2 and assumes the position with us. He groomed Blahnik's mane and I smiled because he nibbles my hair sometimes too. Then I just admired this magnificant, smart, funny, Thoroughbred in front of me and let myself be all mushy inside because this stunning animal in front of me was MINE, the horse I'd always wanted, the horse I'd been waiting for my whole life. And when he sparked curiosity towards me and put his nose on mine and took a big long sniff before going back to his hay, I saw, despite the struggles I had been going through, despite some of our arguments, Jet was - IS - a happy horse. He is loved so much, and we have done everything in our power to make him happy and trusting and he KNOWS how loved and spoiled he is.

Mom joined me shortly thereafter and we had a discussion about what to do from here. As we talked, our horse stood in between us, fast asleep, lazily swishing his tail as we rubbed under his eyes - his favorite Sweet Spot. Thanks to advice and support from the SC, we decided it really was NOT a big deal if we only messed with Jet in small increments for the rest of the summer - the flies are at an atrocious high, it's a zillion degrees and we are in the middle of monsoon season so it's been muggier than usual. We also decided to avoid L1 purgatory, we would start incorporating obstacles and toys to advance on the games Jet is already super strong with - Porcupine, Driving, Yo-yo. For stuff like Circle, Squeeze and Sidepass (which he is still learning to sidepass, but REALLY enjoying it), we would stick to basic L1. And now, anytime I get impatient or excited, thinking of all the things I want to do with Jet on the journey, I think first, "I am 25. Jet is 6. We have nothing but time. We will grow old together."

So...we took some orange cones into the arena this last session. Jet did a terrible figure 8 (thanks to my terrible cues, I was laughing the whole time because I got tangled in the carrot stick) through them, but a couple of nice drives and porcupines. The heat and constant drill Jet gives us in patience (the LBI in him) was GRUELING, but right before my eyes, I started understanding the point of L2 and playing the games with an obstacle. Slowly at first, and then very quickly, Jet realized that everything we were doing had something to do with the cone. It was SO cool to see the wheels turning in his head!!!! Suddenly, he dropped his head and put his nose on it. Mom was gearing to do a drive in another direction and I cried out, "Wait, wait! He's doing something!!" We dropped everything and watched Jet push the cone around, then knock it over, then gently put his hoof on it and try to roll it forward. It was SO cute and we were ECSTATIC that we actually engaged his curiosity and he offered to play with the cone. When he stuck his foot in the bottom and pawed it towards him, he looked up at us and said, "Did I do something right?" He got rubs and a big smooch on his kissy spot. A minute later he licked and chewed.

The session ended right then and there. We couldn't think of a more perfect way to end a session in that kind of heat.

Your Horses - Then and Now

I just did a revision of Jet's horsenality chart. He still exudes most of the traits he had when we first charted him, but some new ones have come out. Of course, charts do not hold a torch to what we see in the flesh.

When we first got Jet, he was sweet, friendly and VERY lazy, thoroughly content to just stand around and be loved on. Two months later, he is sweet, friendly, and VERY dominating, prone to throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way. He has become more playful and testy to our our leadership. He loves the Push Me, Pull You game (not to be confused with Yo-Yo) where whoever moves backwards first is the loser (prime dominance game). He is more exuberant, stubborn and defiant than he used to be. Still licking and chewing over the idea of handing US the role of Leader. When we first played with him, he was curious and aimed to please. Now, he demands incentive and motivation then STILL sticks his tongue out at us when he does what he asks. But other days he is all about trying to learn and constantly asking questions.

So, I am DYING to know...what were your horses like when you first met them? How have they changed since you started Parelli? Were they beasts that turned into dolls? Dolls that turned into beasts, then into magic horses? Was your horse abused before you got him? Do you have any foals who have been raised PNH? I read about your horses all the time, your follies and fantastics and am SO interested to know who your horse was when you first introduced her to the Games, and now, who your REAL horse is! Fire away!!!

Progress, One Session at a Time

It was a short play session because of a major dust storm, followed by an insane rainstorm, but chock full of successes!!!

I am so thankful Mom and I are both so into Parelli. We may be on the same level of expertise, but we watch one another and catch things we normally wouldn't catch if we were working sans Parelli playmate. Mom has wisdom and insight (and in another life, was a teacher, so is quite comfortable in giving instructions!), and I...well, I provide jokes and quote movies to help her relax and laugh.

We decided to skip Circling because at the moment Jet thinks of it as some sort of Chinese Lunging Torture and wanted to spark his mind and see if he would find something other than eating fun.

Still no magical breakthrough yet, but things are going on with Jet and us that didn't happen last week. These last 2 sessions we have paid more attention to Jet's needs, and as a result, it has naturally been giving US what we WANT or HOPE from him. The last time Mom went to the pasture to fetch him, he kept walking away. When she FINALLY (30 minutes later) got the halter on, instead of dragging him away come Hell or high water, she told me, "I'm compromising. He finally let me put the halter on, so now he gets to eat some hay and hang out a little while longer before we take him away."

So we sat our rumps down in the dirt and talked. Then, almost out of nowhere, came the definition of Taking the Time it Takes. One minute, Jet was ignoring us and we were ignoring him, the next minute a black nose was nudging its way in between us. I guess Prior and Proper Preparation sometimes means doing Absolutely Nothing at All. When Mom decided it was time to leave the paddock, Jet was ready and willing. Savvy kudos to Ma!

As I said, we decided to nix the Circling Game for a minute. He's driving his FQ SOOOOOOO much better and more lightly now and is at Phase -2 driving his HQ...so Mom taught him to side pass. She was struggling at first getting Jet to cooperate. She upped her energy by increasing the rhythm of the carrot stick. I realized by his expression that Jet finds this tactic rude and obnoxious, like being poked overandoverandoverandover in the shoulder while you're trying to talk to someone. Jet HATES to be nagged, and has no problem showing how utterly insulted he gets. I suggested keeping the rhythm the same (1 beat per second) but increasing the accent of the downbeat (if musical terms make more sense, I explained it in some weird, rambling way when the idea first came). IMMEDIATELY Jet's expression changed and offered some LOVELY sashays. Mom liked that approach a lot more too...the energy was the same, but far less frantic looking and a lot less exhausting on her arms! Once they established that communication ("Ask me like I am royalty, and it will be granted."), His Royal Highness seemed to really be ENJOYING the sidepass.

Someone wanted to use the roundpen we were in to lunge (*cringe*) another horse, so Mom took that as MY opportunity to back Jet into the one next door. I used my phases very carefully so as not to offend Prince Jet. Well, sure, he was backing up, but it was a lazy, half-assed attempt. He was far more interested in a horse frolicking in the neighboring arena.
Obviously this called for "snapping him out of it." As stated in previous posts, I have a HUGE threshhold about Phase 4. I always feel like I am either holding back energy because if I let it fly, I am going to come across as a totally mean bitch. Or, if I DO let it fly, I come across as a totally mean bitch (I have this issue at work, too). Too much emotion, not enough assertion.

Well, Jet was literally SHUFFLING backwards through the gate, thoroughly distracted by the other horse, and I let it fly. With one good swing of my whole arm (that took turning turn my whole left side to get the point across), the ASSERTION traveled up the lead rope and right against Jet's nose. He snapped out of his daze so fast, I don't think even HE knew what hit him. The moment he looked at me (a quick and eager, "My gosh, I'm sorry! What can I do for you??") I smiled broadly and gently shook the rope. You should have seen the spring in his step. He paid strict attention for the rest of the Yo-Yo game, but completely LB. A cookie was definitely in order. It was the first time a horse ever looked to me like I was the TRUE leader. Ever feel like the horse was just humoring you when you were trying to establish leadership?? It was also the first time I ever felt the absence of emotion behind assertion. It was a very fleeting moment...but I felt it. It was there. It went away as quickly as it came out, but FINALLY feeling the difference between assertion and aggression was enlightening. I hope from here it will start to become easier to distinguish the two.

Slowly but surely, all three of us are getting more in tune with each other. We left feeling just a little bit more savvy than when we'd arrived ;-).