Your Horses - Then and Now

I just did a revision of Jet's horsenality chart. He still exudes most of the traits he had when we first charted him, but some new ones have come out. Of course, charts do not hold a torch to what we see in the flesh.

When we first got Jet, he was sweet, friendly and VERY lazy, thoroughly content to just stand around and be loved on. Two months later, he is sweet, friendly, and VERY dominating, prone to throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way. He has become more playful and testy to our our leadership. He loves the Push Me, Pull You game (not to be confused with Yo-Yo) where whoever moves backwards first is the loser (prime dominance game). He is more exuberant, stubborn and defiant than he used to be. Still licking and chewing over the idea of handing US the role of Leader. When we first played with him, he was curious and aimed to please. Now, he demands incentive and motivation then STILL sticks his tongue out at us when he does what he asks. But other days he is all about trying to learn and constantly asking questions.

So, I am DYING to know...what were your horses like when you first met them? How have they changed since you started Parelli? Were they beasts that turned into dolls? Dolls that turned into beasts, then into magic horses? Was your horse abused before you got him? Do you have any foals who have been raised PNH? I read about your horses all the time, your follies and fantastics and am SO interested to know who your horse was when you first introduced her to the Games, and now, who your REAL horse is! Fire away!!!

Progress, One Session at a Time

It was a short play session because of a major dust storm, followed by an insane rainstorm, but chock full of successes!!!

I am so thankful Mom and I are both so into Parelli. We may be on the same level of expertise, but we watch one another and catch things we normally wouldn't catch if we were working sans Parelli playmate. Mom has wisdom and insight (and in another life, was a teacher, so is quite comfortable in giving instructions!), and I...well, I provide jokes and quote movies to help her relax and laugh.

We decided to skip Circling because at the moment Jet thinks of it as some sort of Chinese Lunging Torture and wanted to spark his mind and see if he would find something other than eating fun.

Still no magical breakthrough yet, but things are going on with Jet and us that didn't happen last week. These last 2 sessions we have paid more attention to Jet's needs, and as a result, it has naturally been giving US what we WANT or HOPE from him. The last time Mom went to the pasture to fetch him, he kept walking away. When she FINALLY (30 minutes later) got the halter on, instead of dragging him away come Hell or high water, she told me, "I'm compromising. He finally let me put the halter on, so now he gets to eat some hay and hang out a little while longer before we take him away."

So we sat our rumps down in the dirt and talked. Then, almost out of nowhere, came the definition of Taking the Time it Takes. One minute, Jet was ignoring us and we were ignoring him, the next minute a black nose was nudging its way in between us. I guess Prior and Proper Preparation sometimes means doing Absolutely Nothing at All. When Mom decided it was time to leave the paddock, Jet was ready and willing. Savvy kudos to Ma!

As I said, we decided to nix the Circling Game for a minute. He's driving his FQ SOOOOOOO much better and more lightly now and is at Phase -2 driving his HQ...so Mom taught him to side pass. She was struggling at first getting Jet to cooperate. She upped her energy by increasing the rhythm of the carrot stick. I realized by his expression that Jet finds this tactic rude and obnoxious, like being poked overandoverandoverandover in the shoulder while you're trying to talk to someone. Jet HATES to be nagged, and has no problem showing how utterly insulted he gets. I suggested keeping the rhythm the same (1 beat per second) but increasing the accent of the downbeat (if musical terms make more sense, I explained it in some weird, rambling way when the idea first came). IMMEDIATELY Jet's expression changed and offered some LOVELY sashays. Mom liked that approach a lot more too...the energy was the same, but far less frantic looking and a lot less exhausting on her arms! Once they established that communication ("Ask me like I am royalty, and it will be granted."), His Royal Highness seemed to really be ENJOYING the sidepass.

Someone wanted to use the roundpen we were in to lunge (*cringe*) another horse, so Mom took that as MY opportunity to back Jet into the one next door. I used my phases very carefully so as not to offend Prince Jet. Well, sure, he was backing up, but it was a lazy, half-assed attempt. He was far more interested in a horse frolicking in the neighboring arena.
Obviously this called for "snapping him out of it." As stated in previous posts, I have a HUGE threshhold about Phase 4. I always feel like I am either holding back energy because if I let it fly, I am going to come across as a totally mean bitch. Or, if I DO let it fly, I come across as a totally mean bitch (I have this issue at work, too). Too much emotion, not enough assertion.

Well, Jet was literally SHUFFLING backwards through the gate, thoroughly distracted by the other horse, and I let it fly. With one good swing of my whole arm (that took turning turn my whole left side to get the point across), the ASSERTION traveled up the lead rope and right against Jet's nose. He snapped out of his daze so fast, I don't think even HE knew what hit him. The moment he looked at me (a quick and eager, "My gosh, I'm sorry! What can I do for you??") I smiled broadly and gently shook the rope. You should have seen the spring in his step. He paid strict attention for the rest of the Yo-Yo game, but completely LB. A cookie was definitely in order. It was the first time a horse ever looked to me like I was the TRUE leader. Ever feel like the horse was just humoring you when you were trying to establish leadership?? It was also the first time I ever felt the absence of emotion behind assertion. It was a very fleeting moment...but I felt it. It was there. It went away as quickly as it came out, but FINALLY feeling the difference between assertion and aggression was enlightening. I hope from here it will start to become easier to distinguish the two.

Slowly but surely, all three of us are getting more in tune with each other. We left feeling just a little bit more savvy than when we'd arrived ;-).

My Jet and My Clarinet

Marc Rea, my local Parelli instructor, once said there is a deep connection between horses and music. No sentence ever rang truer with me, aside from, "Given half a brain, your head would slant."
As some of you have been kind enough to go out of your way to remind me, I am but a student still learning the game. I guess I feel like I should have more savvy because I had a GREAT relationship with the last horse I did Parelli with. We were moving into L2. But then again, his owner was also a PNHer and she was always able to correct the mistakes I made. With Jet, I have sooooo much more invested emotionally (and financially!) with him, that I put a lot more pressure on myself. Whatever Jet does, good or bad, is a reflection of Mom's and my leadership.
As I've wrestled with my Be Perfect demons, a few things come to mind: Jet is changing. The true horse is coming out. He is becoming more confident; therefore, more defiant, more challenging. Despite some of the disasterous moments that have ensued as a result, is that really such a bad thing? My horse is not afraid of me. My horse trusts I will do no harm unto him, that I will keep him safe.

It's a constant battle with myself to remember I simply CANNOT do everything perfect the first time and even though I have been studying Parelli for over a year, that first year was only for once a week with someone else's horse who was already PNH familiar. We have only had Jet for 2 months. TWO MONTHS! Already he is different, already he is more confident, already he is more playful. But...IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO MONTHS. Those gorgeous YouTubes and enlightening blogs I see - those took YEARS of blood, sweat and tears to develop the love, language and leadership between horse and human.

Then I start remembering when I took up the clarinet, and I can't help but bust out laughing. I played clarinet for 12 years. Hell, it was my MAJOR in college. I lived and breathed music for the better part of my life. The two things I loved the most in the world were horses and music. Since I didn't have a pony, clarinet became the deeper commitment, at least until I discovered the world of hospitality (long story). I won a few awards and countless competition medals as a musician. I performed pieces that were almost completely black, they were covered with so many notes. My trainer said my tone was "angelic." After 12 years, I was pretty darned good...but OMG, it took me TWELVE YEARS to get to that level!! At 2 months...I sucked. I was awful. I practiced night and day, and I was still terrible. Why? BECAUSE I'D ONLY BEEN PLAYING FOR TWO MONTHS. Sure, I sounded better than the FIRST day...but was nothing compared to how I sounded a year later, then 2 years later, then 10 years later. Somehow when I was younger, it was easier to comprehend that yeah, my clarinet playing was bad...but I loved it anyway.
Yeah, my L1 looks kinda bad...but I love Parelli anyway... and Jet more than anything.

The Road to Breakthrough?

Or am I regressing?

Another frustrating day. But here's why I stick with Parelli and love it anyway: When I was a normie and had those frustrating days, I was always frustrated with the horse. These days, I'm frustrated with myself. I'm frustrated because I'm a society-conformed, normal adult, and not the carefree, creative child I used to be. I'm frustrated because I can't get BIG and use P4 without panicking that I was totally mean. I'm frustrated because I run out of ideas to keep Jet entertained. I'm frustrated because sometimes I feel like I can't read him at all - is he left-brained and being defiant, or is he right-brained and scared half to death?

Shiloh is in the process of building a Parelli playground so I brought Jet over. He was a little apprehensive, having never seen this part of the ranch before. I let him walk around and sniff out the place, then he was starting to do his "head drag" where he pulls the lead rope and has the attitude of, "I'm attached to this human, but I can go and do whatever I want." I tried to change the tone to, "We can walk around, but you can't run into my space and I need you to walk where I walk." Driving, yo-yo, whatever. Well, Jet LOST IT. He tore around me in circles, rearing, bucking, snorting, pawing at the ground and trying to ROLL (??? he's done this before, why?). Seriously, I had NO IDEA what to do. But I wasn't panicked. My pulse didn't rise. All I could think was, "Don't move the feet, and don't let him plow you over. And try to make him change direction, make his brain work." He didn't try to charge me, but he did inch closer in his wild gallop. I waved my hands and he flew in the other direction. For a minute, I just stood there, putting NO PRESSURE on him at all. I treated him like a child throwing a tantrum - just ignored him. I didn't know what else to do. Then he started to look at me. Every time we made eye contact, I smiled. Then I slowly combed him in, trying to disengage his HQ. He did just that with no tension in the lead rope. We tried the walk again and he was a little better behaved, so I rewarded him with leaving the playground and Me N My Shadow. NOW he got to walk where he wanted and I was just following.

When I brought him back to his pasture, as I was struggling to unclip the chain to the gate, he nudged his head against me HARD, slamming me between him and the fence. It's a dominance thing. It makes me move backwards. He does it to Blahnik all the time. Now it was my turn to lose it. I didn't hit him, and I didn't growl. But I backed him up in about 6 different directions in the highest energy I could possibly imagine. I was angry, but tried SO hard to convert that angry energy into Bossiest Mare Ever. Really, it was still nothing compared to what Hazel, the lead mare in his herd, does to everyone. Jet had his head high and eyes wide open but he didn't look scared...more like, "Whoa shit, guess I went too far." I still wasn't confident I hadn't gotten my point across, so I drove his FQ away from me, saying as evenly as possible, "I love you dude, but I just don't like being dominated." Jet SWIRLED zone 2 like I had never seen...like an advanced dressage champion. And I started to cry. I felt EVIL.

PNH enthusiasts speak of break-throughs and I read about them with envy because there seems to be this magical moment where the horse goes from Hell on Hooves to beloved partner in an instant. Somehow it all falls into place. I don't feel like I have reached that yet. Just as soon as I think I'm getting it, Jet does something that knocks me right back to the drawing board (ah, LBE's). I'm not pissed off with him about that. Rather, it just goes to show what amazing teachers horses are. On the other hand with break-throughs, many students also tell tales of how L1 got really, really ugly, then SLOWLY but surely, it started getting easier and lighter. The breakthrough seemed to have come on progressively, and didn't realize it until sometime later, when their horse randomly did something respectful that pulled it all together.

I don't think I have as much confidence as Jet does. I have a huge problem with irony, so I always keep the worst in the back of my mind and try to accept every possible bad outcome that could possibly happen. Call it hoping for the best, expecting the worst.

Jet walked into the pasture like a gentleman and didn't dare push up against me when I took off his halter. With a quick rub on the nose, I spun around and took off for the opposite side of the paddock, because I couldn't bear the idea of Jet taking off as far from me as he could because I was so obnoxious. There was a snort behind me. I stopped and slowly peered around...and there was my horse, stretching his nose to me. I smiled, and turned towards him to leave the pasture. Jet kept walking, he saw a bushel of hay not too far from where I had originally headed.

Our last encounter occurred when I brought the carrot stick and halter back into his paddock with NO intentions of taking him out again. Just so he knew not EVERY time I brought the equipment in, something terrible was going to happen. When he saw me, he came to me. I fed him some treats. He nuzzled me, licked my arm. He let me hug his neck before I left. Then he followed me all the way to the gate.

I am so nervous about what tomorrow will hold.

The Bad Mood Bear

Ever take one look at your horse and just KNOW he's in a rotten mood?
To quote Finding Nemo: "Hey there, Mr. GRUMPY PANTS!"
Does anyone else ever have a day where you feel like everything you do to try and make your horse happy merely annoys him?
My brain is flying. Not just because Jet had a thorn in his butt, but also because I am FRIGGEN EXHAUSTED. I work 10 hour shifts as a graveyard beverage manager for one of the casinos on the Strip. Due to the long hours, grave is actually the only schedule that gives me any prayer of spending time with my boy. However, humans are not naturally nocturnal, and sometimes, no matter how long you have worked grave, your brain just FRIES. One of my cocktail waitresses, who has worked grave for 18 years, said just the other day she randomly fell asleep while she was eating a bowl of cereal. Literally. She woke up wearing half-eaten, soggy Cap'n Crunch and dried milk, while still holding the spoon in her mouth.
Anyway, my brain is completely on the fritz and over-reacting as it always does when I'm butt-ass tired, but for the very first time, rather than getting dramatic and sobbing, "My horse haaaaaates me!" my first thoughts are, "Hmm. HOW INTERESTING."
I tried too hard today. I tried having Undemanding Time while still trying to keep him curious and interested in me. At least I caught myself doing it. The weather was also terrible today. It's only in the 90's, but very muggy for the desert, as there is a threat of a rain storm. Often, that's ALL we get all year is the mere threat of rain, or some terrential downpour that floods the entire state of Nevada in a matter of minutes, followed immediately by scorching sunlight. Perhaps the ambiguity of the weather was bothering Jet, as several other boarders also mentioned their horses were in major snits today.
It wasn't just me Jet was pissed off with. He was bi-polar with EVERYONE in the herd, even Blahnik. One minute he kicked her in the face and shimmied over to me, two minutes later he decides I suck, whinnies at Blahnik and gallops over to her. After awhile, even Blahnik was like, "Screw you, I'm hangin' out with the human."
I had brought his halter to take him out to feed him his supplements and Jet's feeling was, "HELL no." Hmm...HOW INTERESTING. My thoughts: "What did I do (or NOT do) last time that makes him not want to come out today?...it's NOT about the Catching Game...I WANT to take him out, and I HAVE to feed him his supplements...but what does JET need today?" Jet needed to be in his pasture, free to walk away and sulk as he pleased. My cloudy mind managed to decide, "Oh boy! I can bring his bucket into the PASTURE and practice upping my energy and body blocks when the other horses try to invade our space." So that's exactly what I did. The day wasn't a total train wreck. Jet still put his nose out for scratches and rubs. He still sniffed me, approached me if I caught his eye and turned around, licked my hand. But he was grouchy and I am comatose. Finally, I gave up, sat on the bucket (when he had emptied it out) and just admired him and Blahnik while they grazed. I only moved to give them the occasional pat (only if they touched my first) or to chase off the Brute Squad. When it was time to leave, I knelt beside Jet and said, "Say bye-bye to mama," and he actually OFFERED me his nose. I gave him a smooch on his "kissy spot" (that adorable snip of white on his face) and made a quick exit. So, I let my horse know that we don't always have to leave the pasture to hang out or play games, nor do we have to play games at all. I just hope I'm forgiven for the mistakes I DID make today and tomorrow is better, not worse. Pat's saying of "the second time's the hardest" scares me. I have no idea if tomorrow I want to try taking him out, or if we should just graze in the pasture again, or take him and Blahnik for a little walk around the paddock. Or even if Jet will run away screaming the next time he sees me. I guess he will let me know what he is up for when we meet again.

Finding Phase 4

Mom and I had an interesting discussion about finding phase 4 today. She observed that a lot of people have issues with it because it's that delicate line between aggression and assertiveness. Many of us are afraid to use phase 4 because we're afraid we're going to come off mean, some people interpret phase 4 as time to BE mean, and those that find phase 4 and can confidently get their point across and only achieve lightness from there on, well I am jealous but HIGHLY respect you. I am DEFINITELY a big baby about Phase 4. I never want to use it, ever, when the situation calls for it because I'm terrified I don't know the difference between aggression and assertion and will end up looking like a big mean predator and my horse will be scared of me. Or worse, hate me.

I'm finding more and more that watching horses communicate with each other is even more educational than Pat and Linda. I think Linda mentioned once that Pat spends a lot of time observing horses and that's how he developed the 7 Games in the first place. Not being able to watch the DVD's at Shiloh, the horses show me instead.

I'm hoping I interpreted this observation well. There's a gray Arabian in Jet's herd named Journey. Journey is a very dominating mare who loves people, but Jet and Blahnik are among her favorites to push around. Most days I have to drive Journey off to protect my herd of 3. Jet and Blahnik know by now that when I turn into Boss Mare, when the other mares take off, they get to stay (you can almost see them sticking their tongues out at the others). Yesterday I was scratching Jet when I saw Journey trotting to us, ears pinned, teeth bared and aiming straight for Zone 2. Had I allowed Journey to chase my horse off, he would have pivoted Zone 2 and taken off in the other direction, away from her. I interpretted Journey's action as Porcupine. She drew closer and closer in a steady, straightforward motion. THEN, a few hours later, Blahnik was being too pushy for Jet's taste. First he pinned his ears and pointed his nose at her. When she didn't yield, he did it again, only this time, a little faster and more aggressively and bared his teeth. When she STILL didn't yield, he bit her. To me, that was Driving, because his communication tactic to make her get out of his way seemed more rhythmic. And I realized I was using my Carrot Stick incorrectly which was why Driving Zone 2 was so exhausting. Basically, I was shaking my CS at the side of his face, which to Jet probably looked like a very long, skinny bird fluttering by his eye. Yawn. Horses don't drive each other away by snapping at each other like they're chowin' down on corn on the cob. So this morning I dropped the crazy Arsenio Hall impersonation and went for longer, more sweeping strokes. Nothing. Got a question, so I retreated for a minute. Tried it again, started moving a little closer. Nada. (By the way, I almost always use the 22ft when I play with Jet and it is a GODSEND. Sometimes he needs drift, hardly ever all 22ft, but 12ft was just too claustrophobic for him. Finding comfort at 13 or 14 feet makes a HUGE difference when he gets worried.) And then...BONK! Just like yesterday, he snapped to attention like, "Yikes, who are you, Journey??" But then he pivoted LIGHT AS A FEATHER, like, "Oh excuse me, I just didn't hear you." Seeing his legs cross over like a lovely dressage horse was enough to make me release (reward for the slightest try??). He licked. He chewed. He stuck his nose out. He got scratches and comforting and I thanked him for moving so politely.

Just to see what would happen a few minutes later, I Yo-Yo'ed him out and held the rope out to see if I could drive him in a half-circle to the left. It was actually more for me to try a different Phase 3 or less. 'Don't make me pick up the stick.' Jet had his eyes on me, but didn't know what I was asking. I picked up the stick and looked to my left. Still looking, but no offering. I really didn't want to flick him with the savvy string. He'd spent most of his life being cracked on the rump with longe whips and the few times he HAD been flicked with the savvy string in earlier days, he flew in circles, right brained and insulted. After comparing him to some segments I watched in L&HB, I determined Jet is actually very sensitive. As I stood now, my stick prepped for movement, I thought back to moments in the pasture where I was rubbing his body and he'd sway to the side, or his shoulders and withers would quiver. Being an extremely ticklish person, I'm the first to understand that gentle taps or caresses do not feel soothing - they BURN. If you're going to touch me, you have to be firm, or not touch me at all.

So I snapped the savvy string on the ground. At the sound of the crack, Jet made a gorgeous turn to the left (his right, actually), away from the stick and gave me a full lap. All I had wanted him to do was yield away from the stick, so I dropped the pressure the moment he turned. At the exact place where he had started, he swung his HQ around (hid the heinie!) and pointed his ears at me. I smiled and invited him in. Although he had taken that full circle a little too right-brained, the second he got the invitation, he dropped his head and licked his lips. I was pleased with the questions he had asked me, and pleased that when all was said and done, he was licking and chewing and happy to walk beside me, so I decided he had done enough and the pressure was off completely for the day.

My emotions about today's play session are mixed. I think it's because I'm still unsure as to what phase I used when I asked him to go to my left and whether it was the correct phase. Obviously he didn't need to be touched, the SS snapping the ground was plenty. But was it a naggy phase 3? Should I have snapped it lighter and then just waited for Jet to think and see if he would OFFER the turn? For him to trot a circle is pretty uncommon, but the only times he did take a circle faster than a slug was when we first started playing with him and he thought he was being longed. There was tension in the 22, but he didn't need extra drift. He stopped and asked after a lap and was happy I was happy with what he'd done. So was he actually using energy I just didn't expect him to have after waking him up in that first Driving Game? Did I REALLY have good communication with my horse today?

Either Jet's very forgiving, or he's really starting to enjoy being with me. When I popped back into his pasture a few more times just to say hi (so he doesn't think every time I come in, it's to take him out and make him do stuff), he always abandoned his hay to come over and say hello. He's not bounding across the pasture yet when I call his name, but for right now, he checks in. And when it IS time to leave the pasture, he always sticks his nose right into his halter.

So interesting, so interesting, so interesting...

Water Fights, Yielding, and The Farrier

Don't you love when you capture the most perfect candid moments? What a fabulous expression he's got. Notice how one side of him looks VERY dusty, and the other side is shiny, shiny, shiny.

"Yeah, I rolled. What's it to ya??"

Great news as Mom finally got Jet to yield Zone 1 in Driving, albeit at phase 4,061 but she used the fence as a marker which proved to be a great help. I still need major work in upping my energy so Jet views me as more of a leader, and less like a fly that landed on his shoulder. Although I was imitating Linda in the segment in L&HB about the horse who doesn't use his energy as an example to Mom about different ways to produce rhythmic pressure and Jet SNAPPED awake, like, "Whoa, where'd that come from??" I'm always so worry when I up my energy that I'm going to come off as mean or aggressive but Jet didn't seem the least bit worried. In fact, he licked his lips, and was looking expectantly at us after that like, "K ladies, whaddya want me to do?" For a LBE, I'm amazed how when his curiosity starts going, he gains much more of a desire to please. When he's not particularly engaged, that's when he starts acting dominant...like he's trying to create his own fun. So he'll wander away, sniff turds, pretend we're not there...and when we use the carrot stick for Porcupine and especially Driving, he'll throw his head up. Here's a question, Parelli Peeps, do you always do all the Games in order or do you mix them up after establishing your horse understands you when you play the games and can play them LB at a relatively low phase?

The new farrier arrived this morning THANK GOD, but Jet was a little anxious about waiting. He's so sociable and was busy whinnying at Jill's Fresians who were gaily tearing each other apart in the pasture next door, so I figured he needed some time to move his feet around and keep his brain thinking. Undemanding time at Liberty, no sticks, no lead ropes. We had a BALL! I actually got him to trot after me and play Tag. His way of saying "You're it!!" was grabbing my shirt and trying to tear it over my head. Luckily I was wearing a sports bra so if that had actually happened, I wouldn't have offended too many people. Then, to cool off I grabbed a hose, which he loves drinking out of. Jet thought it would be even MORE fun to bite down on the nozzle and shake his head around, soaking both of us to the core. For one of the first times EVER, I felt like a horse was actually PLAYING with me. When I left the round pen to fetch something, he actually whinnied after me!

Mom and I had a great first impression of our new farrier. He seems extremely concerned with the welfare of every individual horse's foot and devises "Hoof Plans" for turning even the flimsiest flap of fingernail into Hooves of Steel. He discussed Jet's feet, past, present and future in detail and while I am THOROUGHLY fascinated by hoof care, Shiloh has been farrier hungry for weeks and there were at least 8 horses including Jet who were in dire need of mani/pedis and he had been there for over 2 hours and only done 1 horse. Jill was extremely anxious to get these other tenderfoots ready (and who could blame her??), so Mom and I listened as long as we could, and said we were going to work with some other horses for a minute so he could concentrate. Jill decided to use this guy for the boarders, aka the Overprotective Parents Who Will Nod and Listen Mesmerized For Hours About Frog Depth, and a more direct clipper to help maintain the geriatrics and sanctioned horses that can go barefoot. I had some friends join us today so we went and gave some of the ponies baths, while Mom tried Natural Attraction with a frightened Mini paint who had been used at carnivals. She made it back to the farrier just as he was finishing up with Jet. I popped back into his pasture to give him cookies and say goodbye and noticed he had a much lighter spring in his step and was distributing his weight far more evenly than he had been. Oh God, I love effecient farriers. Mom agreed that the guy did a terrific job and we definitely owed him some lecture time (us listening to him lecture, not vice versa). Then Mom said, "And the farrier kindly requests that we stay with Jet the entire time anyway next time, because he said Jet got very upset when we left and it wasn't until I came back that he finally dropped his head and stood still."

Oh, my.