Finding Phase 4

Mom and I had an interesting discussion about finding phase 4 today. She observed that a lot of people have issues with it because it's that delicate line between aggression and assertiveness. Many of us are afraid to use phase 4 because we're afraid we're going to come off mean, some people interpret phase 4 as time to BE mean, and those that find phase 4 and can confidently get their point across and only achieve lightness from there on, well I am jealous but HIGHLY respect you. I am DEFINITELY a big baby about Phase 4. I never want to use it, ever, when the situation calls for it because I'm terrified I don't know the difference between aggression and assertion and will end up looking like a big mean predator and my horse will be scared of me. Or worse, hate me.

I'm finding more and more that watching horses communicate with each other is even more educational than Pat and Linda. I think Linda mentioned once that Pat spends a lot of time observing horses and that's how he developed the 7 Games in the first place. Not being able to watch the DVD's at Shiloh, the horses show me instead.

I'm hoping I interpreted this observation well. There's a gray Arabian in Jet's herd named Journey. Journey is a very dominating mare who loves people, but Jet and Blahnik are among her favorites to push around. Most days I have to drive Journey off to protect my herd of 3. Jet and Blahnik know by now that when I turn into Boss Mare, when the other mares take off, they get to stay (you can almost see them sticking their tongues out at the others). Yesterday I was scratching Jet when I saw Journey trotting to us, ears pinned, teeth bared and aiming straight for Zone 2. Had I allowed Journey to chase my horse off, he would have pivoted Zone 2 and taken off in the other direction, away from her. I interpretted Journey's action as Porcupine. She drew closer and closer in a steady, straightforward motion. THEN, a few hours later, Blahnik was being too pushy for Jet's taste. First he pinned his ears and pointed his nose at her. When she didn't yield, he did it again, only this time, a little faster and more aggressively and bared his teeth. When she STILL didn't yield, he bit her. To me, that was Driving, because his communication tactic to make her get out of his way seemed more rhythmic. And I realized I was using my Carrot Stick incorrectly which was why Driving Zone 2 was so exhausting. Basically, I was shaking my CS at the side of his face, which to Jet probably looked like a very long, skinny bird fluttering by his eye. Yawn. Horses don't drive each other away by snapping at each other like they're chowin' down on corn on the cob. So this morning I dropped the crazy Arsenio Hall impersonation and went for longer, more sweeping strokes. Nothing. Got a question, so I retreated for a minute. Tried it again, started moving a little closer. Nada. (By the way, I almost always use the 22ft when I play with Jet and it is a GODSEND. Sometimes he needs drift, hardly ever all 22ft, but 12ft was just too claustrophobic for him. Finding comfort at 13 or 14 feet makes a HUGE difference when he gets worried.) And then...BONK! Just like yesterday, he snapped to attention like, "Yikes, who are you, Journey??" But then he pivoted LIGHT AS A FEATHER, like, "Oh excuse me, I just didn't hear you." Seeing his legs cross over like a lovely dressage horse was enough to make me release (reward for the slightest try??). He licked. He chewed. He stuck his nose out. He got scratches and comforting and I thanked him for moving so politely.

Just to see what would happen a few minutes later, I Yo-Yo'ed him out and held the rope out to see if I could drive him in a half-circle to the left. It was actually more for me to try a different Phase 3 or less. 'Don't make me pick up the stick.' Jet had his eyes on me, but didn't know what I was asking. I picked up the stick and looked to my left. Still looking, but no offering. I really didn't want to flick him with the savvy string. He'd spent most of his life being cracked on the rump with longe whips and the few times he HAD been flicked with the savvy string in earlier days, he flew in circles, right brained and insulted. After comparing him to some segments I watched in L&HB, I determined Jet is actually very sensitive. As I stood now, my stick prepped for movement, I thought back to moments in the pasture where I was rubbing his body and he'd sway to the side, or his shoulders and withers would quiver. Being an extremely ticklish person, I'm the first to understand that gentle taps or caresses do not feel soothing - they BURN. If you're going to touch me, you have to be firm, or not touch me at all.

So I snapped the savvy string on the ground. At the sound of the crack, Jet made a gorgeous turn to the left (his right, actually), away from the stick and gave me a full lap. All I had wanted him to do was yield away from the stick, so I dropped the pressure the moment he turned. At the exact place where he had started, he swung his HQ around (hid the heinie!) and pointed his ears at me. I smiled and invited him in. Although he had taken that full circle a little too right-brained, the second he got the invitation, he dropped his head and licked his lips. I was pleased with the questions he had asked me, and pleased that when all was said and done, he was licking and chewing and happy to walk beside me, so I decided he had done enough and the pressure was off completely for the day.

My emotions about today's play session are mixed. I think it's because I'm still unsure as to what phase I used when I asked him to go to my left and whether it was the correct phase. Obviously he didn't need to be touched, the SS snapping the ground was plenty. But was it a naggy phase 3? Should I have snapped it lighter and then just waited for Jet to think and see if he would OFFER the turn? For him to trot a circle is pretty uncommon, but the only times he did take a circle faster than a slug was when we first started playing with him and he thought he was being longed. There was tension in the 22, but he didn't need extra drift. He stopped and asked after a lap and was happy I was happy with what he'd done. So was he actually using energy I just didn't expect him to have after waking him up in that first Driving Game? Did I REALLY have good communication with my horse today?

Either Jet's very forgiving, or he's really starting to enjoy being with me. When I popped back into his pasture a few more times just to say hi (so he doesn't think every time I come in, it's to take him out and make him do stuff), he always abandoned his hay to come over and say hello. He's not bounding across the pasture yet when I call his name, but for right now, he checks in. And when it IS time to leave the pasture, he always sticks his nose right into his halter.

So interesting, so interesting, so interesting...