My Jet and My Clarinet

Marc Rea, my local Parelli instructor, once said there is a deep connection between horses and music. No sentence ever rang truer with me, aside from, "Given half a brain, your head would slant."
As some of you have been kind enough to go out of your way to remind me, I am but a student still learning the game. I guess I feel like I should have more savvy because I had a GREAT relationship with the last horse I did Parelli with. We were moving into L2. But then again, his owner was also a PNHer and she was always able to correct the mistakes I made. With Jet, I have sooooo much more invested emotionally (and financially!) with him, that I put a lot more pressure on myself. Whatever Jet does, good or bad, is a reflection of Mom's and my leadership.
As I've wrestled with my Be Perfect demons, a few things come to mind: Jet is changing. The true horse is coming out. He is becoming more confident; therefore, more defiant, more challenging. Despite some of the disasterous moments that have ensued as a result, is that really such a bad thing? My horse is not afraid of me. My horse trusts I will do no harm unto him, that I will keep him safe.

It's a constant battle with myself to remember I simply CANNOT do everything perfect the first time and even though I have been studying Parelli for over a year, that first year was only for once a week with someone else's horse who was already PNH familiar. We have only had Jet for 2 months. TWO MONTHS! Already he is different, already he is more confident, already he is more playful. But...IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO MONTHS. Those gorgeous YouTubes and enlightening blogs I see - those took YEARS of blood, sweat and tears to develop the love, language and leadership between horse and human.

Then I start remembering when I took up the clarinet, and I can't help but bust out laughing. I played clarinet for 12 years. Hell, it was my MAJOR in college. I lived and breathed music for the better part of my life. The two things I loved the most in the world were horses and music. Since I didn't have a pony, clarinet became the deeper commitment, at least until I discovered the world of hospitality (long story). I won a few awards and countless competition medals as a musician. I performed pieces that were almost completely black, they were covered with so many notes. My trainer said my tone was "angelic." After 12 years, I was pretty darned good...but OMG, it took me TWELVE YEARS to get to that level!! At 2 months...I sucked. I was awful. I practiced night and day, and I was still terrible. Why? BECAUSE I'D ONLY BEEN PLAYING FOR TWO MONTHS. Sure, I sounded better than the FIRST day...but was nothing compared to how I sounded a year later, then 2 years later, then 10 years later. Somehow when I was younger, it was easier to comprehend that yeah, my clarinet playing was bad...but I loved it anyway.
Yeah, my L1 looks kinda bad...but I love Parelli anyway... and Jet more than anything.