Progress, One Session at a Time

It was a short play session because of a major dust storm, followed by an insane rainstorm, but chock full of successes!!!

I am so thankful Mom and I are both so into Parelli. We may be on the same level of expertise, but we watch one another and catch things we normally wouldn't catch if we were working sans Parelli playmate. Mom has wisdom and insight (and in another life, was a teacher, so is quite comfortable in giving instructions!), and I...well, I provide jokes and quote movies to help her relax and laugh.

We decided to skip Circling because at the moment Jet thinks of it as some sort of Chinese Lunging Torture and wanted to spark his mind and see if he would find something other than eating fun.

Still no magical breakthrough yet, but things are going on with Jet and us that didn't happen last week. These last 2 sessions we have paid more attention to Jet's needs, and as a result, it has naturally been giving US what we WANT or HOPE from him. The last time Mom went to the pasture to fetch him, he kept walking away. When she FINALLY (30 minutes later) got the halter on, instead of dragging him away come Hell or high water, she told me, "I'm compromising. He finally let me put the halter on, so now he gets to eat some hay and hang out a little while longer before we take him away."

So we sat our rumps down in the dirt and talked. Then, almost out of nowhere, came the definition of Taking the Time it Takes. One minute, Jet was ignoring us and we were ignoring him, the next minute a black nose was nudging its way in between us. I guess Prior and Proper Preparation sometimes means doing Absolutely Nothing at All. When Mom decided it was time to leave the paddock, Jet was ready and willing. Savvy kudos to Ma!

As I said, we decided to nix the Circling Game for a minute. He's driving his FQ SOOOOOOO much better and more lightly now and is at Phase -2 driving his HQ...so Mom taught him to side pass. She was struggling at first getting Jet to cooperate. She upped her energy by increasing the rhythm of the carrot stick. I realized by his expression that Jet finds this tactic rude and obnoxious, like being poked overandoverandoverandover in the shoulder while you're trying to talk to someone. Jet HATES to be nagged, and has no problem showing how utterly insulted he gets. I suggested keeping the rhythm the same (1 beat per second) but increasing the accent of the downbeat (if musical terms make more sense, I explained it in some weird, rambling way when the idea first came). IMMEDIATELY Jet's expression changed and offered some LOVELY sashays. Mom liked that approach a lot more too...the energy was the same, but far less frantic looking and a lot less exhausting on her arms! Once they established that communication ("Ask me like I am royalty, and it will be granted."), His Royal Highness seemed to really be ENJOYING the sidepass.

Someone wanted to use the roundpen we were in to lunge (*cringe*) another horse, so Mom took that as MY opportunity to back Jet into the one next door. I used my phases very carefully so as not to offend Prince Jet. Well, sure, he was backing up, but it was a lazy, half-assed attempt. He was far more interested in a horse frolicking in the neighboring arena.
Obviously this called for "snapping him out of it." As stated in previous posts, I have a HUGE threshhold about Phase 4. I always feel like I am either holding back energy because if I let it fly, I am going to come across as a totally mean bitch. Or, if I DO let it fly, I come across as a totally mean bitch (I have this issue at work, too). Too much emotion, not enough assertion.

Well, Jet was literally SHUFFLING backwards through the gate, thoroughly distracted by the other horse, and I let it fly. With one good swing of my whole arm (that took turning turn my whole left side to get the point across), the ASSERTION traveled up the lead rope and right against Jet's nose. He snapped out of his daze so fast, I don't think even HE knew what hit him. The moment he looked at me (a quick and eager, "My gosh, I'm sorry! What can I do for you??") I smiled broadly and gently shook the rope. You should have seen the spring in his step. He paid strict attention for the rest of the Yo-Yo game, but completely LB. A cookie was definitely in order. It was the first time a horse ever looked to me like I was the TRUE leader. Ever feel like the horse was just humoring you when you were trying to establish leadership?? It was also the first time I ever felt the absence of emotion behind assertion. It was a very fleeting moment...but I felt it. It was there. It went away as quickly as it came out, but FINALLY feeling the difference between assertion and aggression was enlightening. I hope from here it will start to become easier to distinguish the two.

Slowly but surely, all three of us are getting more in tune with each other. We left feeling just a little bit more savvy than when we'd arrived ;-).